This is excellent look at how and why teens do or don’t go to church.

This video is drop dead funny, at least if you are a dad. I was amazed at how much it reminded me of me, not sure if that is a good thing. Check it out!

We had a Fear Factor event at our youth group tonight (www.stpaulsyouth.ning.com) and as usual, my little girl had to get into the act.

This was taken from www.homeword.com.  It is and excellent article on how your kids, and maybe even you communitcate, please let me know what you think after you read it.

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Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past few years, you’re aware of the rise in popularity of social media with teens. From texting on cell phones to websites such as Facebook, MySpace, and YouTube, today’s kids are engaging in social media at an ever-increasing rate.

I probably don’t have to say this, but the reality is: Social media is not a fad, and has become part of the fabric of American youth culture. It’s estimated that during this year (2009), 15.5 million teen Internet users (75%) will use social networking websites.^{1 Facebook alone is said to have 300 million active users worldwide,2 and is the third most-visited website on the Internet, behind Google and Yahoo! In the course of a month, some 24% of all Internet users visit Facebook. And, two other social media sites, YouTube and MySpace hold the fourth and fifth spots as most visited websites in the U.S.3 Still, parents have to make choices about whether they will allow their adolescent kids to use these websites. And, if they allow their kids access to these sites, parents must provide both boundaries and oversight to their usage.}

Talking to your kids about social media should be a top priority. Here are some of my thoughts on handling social media in your home.

Understand Why Today’s Kids Use Social Media.
When we were teenagers and couldn’t hang out face-to-face with our friends, phones were the communication tools of the day. But, today’s teens now have many social media options such as social networking websites, instant messaging and using cell phone text messaging. Our kids find these options more to their liking than talking on the phone. They can multitask better via online methods, communicate briefly, and can’t be overheard by their parents.

Also, it’s been suggested that due to parents’ safety concerns in today’s culture, many kids don’t have the freedom to hang out with peers in settings that were common for us when we were teens. As a result, kids use social media, where they can hang out “virtually” with their peers to socialize, chat, and share their thoughts.

When it comes to video, today’s teens don’t have to sit in front of a television for their entertainment. Social media websites such as YouTube, Hulu, and others, make it possible for kids to watch what they want, when they want—on their computers and cell phones. On these sites, they can watch, download, comment, and share videos virally with others, and even upload their own videos. More and more, teens are turning to social media to get their entertainment fix.

• Set-up a closed circle of “friends.”
On social networking websites, only allow your kids to designate as “friends” people whom they know and of whom you approve. This will only allow your kids to communicate with a specific, closed group of people.

• Don’t allow kids to add new “friends” without your permission.
It’s likely that over time, your children will want to add additional “friends” to their social networking profile. Also, understand that it’s likely that your children will receive requests from people they don’t know to be added to their “friend” list. Set an expectation that no person can be added to the “friend” list without your permission.

• Don’t allow your kids to provide any personal information.
Don’t allow kids to post any information that would make it easy for a stranger to find them like addresses, phone numbers, where they regularly hang out, where they work and what time they get off work.

• Don’t allow kids to set up multiple profiles using multiple email accounts.
From the beginning, set the expectation that your child is allowed only one account on a social networking website. Make sure your child understands that a violation of this expectation is cause for disciplinary action.

• Make it clear that you intend to be a “friend” and will regularly check your child’s profile.
Your child will likely balk at this rule, as he or she will want their profile to be private, free from a parent’s view. Don’t give in. This will serve a couple of good purposes, both to ensure your children think through what to post on their profile before they do so, and it also gives you the opportunity to view the content that others post on the profile, as well. Be sure to follow through. “Friend” you child and visit their profile frequently.

• Have your kids agree to tell you if they receive any inappropriate or threatening messages.
The possibility exists that your child will receive uninvited, inappropriate or threatening messages from others. So, set the expectation that you need to know if this occurs, so that you can deal with these messages.

• Set clear expectations about cell phone use.
These expectations should include all issues associated with today’s cell phones, from when it’s okay to talk on their cell phone, to texting, to taking and distributing photos and videos. Tell your kids that if they should receive inappropriate photographs from others, you expect them to notify you.

• Set clear expectations about video websites.
Your kids need to know what you expect when it comes to visiting social media sites such as YouTube. Determine what types of video they can view and which ones they cannot. Understand that you probably won’t be able to tell what videos they’ve watched, particularly if they access video through their phone or when they are away from home with their friends. So, if you set clear expectations, at least your kids will have to make a choice knowing where you stand. Make sure they know that should they come across video of a pornographic nature, that you’re willing to talk it over with them.

• Follow Through With Consistent Discipline.
Kids need consistent discipline from their parents in order to both survive and thrive. That means clearly defined limits, expectations and consequences clearly articulated to the children by the parents in ways that all involved parties understand. If your kids violate your boundaries, it’s key to follow through consistently with the agreed upon consequences.

Social media is here to stay. How your child consumes it can impact her or his life for better or for worse. Be proactive by providing loving guidance and discipline. And, be sure to throw in good measures of patience and grace. In doing these things, you’ll be helping your child grow into a mature and responsible adult.

Todd, Taylor and Missy

Todd and Taylor’s Prom

Spring is here

However, for my money as a teacher I love the built in breaks that occur during the year, e.g. spring break. This break is great because the weather is turning warmer, the school year is drawing to a close, vacation plans are being made and the days are longer. Both my wife and I teach school, in the same building. In fact, she is only two doors down from me. We love it, but it isn’t for everyone I suspect. Earlier this month we were counting down the days until spring break and here we are.

We elected to drive to Houston, about 480 miles away, and spend some much needed time with her family. Last night we had a great meal at her sisters house and the whole family made it over. It was great, caught up on some old business and learned some new. Today it is over to her mom’s where grandma and grandpa live. Tomorrow we head over to her dads to see their new home and have a cup of tea, or for me coffee.

Breaks are a part of life, built into to who we are. We live much differently than our recent ancestors. They marked time by the seasons and not the second hand of a clock. While travel was tougher for them, the proximity of family presented the opportunity to stay more easily connected to each other. That is an important part of who we are as God’s children: staying connected to him and to each other. For us the breaks, spring break, allow us to do that.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention spring break is a great time to get in some golf as well. Make a break if you don’t get one, a date, a picnic, a drive or a special family night. Take advantage of the time you have with your family, because before you know it they will be gone. Happy spring break wherever you are!

My wife Melissa is a math teacher who teaches a new curriculum called, Math Works. The program is headquartered out of McAllen, Texas and teaches math in a new way. The authors of the curriculum had a video made that showcases their top teachers. Melissa, of course, is highlighted in the video and I had to share it with you, check it out.

Two weeks ago I lost my adopted brother suddenly.  Rickey, as we called him, was a proud firefighter from the Denver Fire Department  .  He called the fire department his “family” for each of the ten plus years he served.  I have heard many organizations refer to themselves as “family” and have always been dubious.  I have been involved in organizations that called themselves family that were anything but!

The buzzword in corporate cultures, educational institutions, governmental institutions and even churches is to function as a family.  Truth be told, most fail miserably.  Why?  Because to function as a family requires spending time together in ways that are uncomfortable.  For example, families take meals together, struggle over bathroom time, make choices based on available resources, namely money and most of all,sacrifice themselves for the good of the family.  Does this sound like the institutions above?  I hope yes, but have all too often seen the real answer to be a resounding NO!

I was absolutely amazed at what I saw with the Denver Fire Department during the awful week of my brother’s death.  I now understand why Rickey called them “family’, they truly personified my description of what a family should be.

Rickey grew up with us since he was in about sixth grade.  I will spare you the details, but his home life was precarious and my dad was one who couldn’t see a kid suffer, so we took him in and he became one of the family.  My younger brother Troy and Rickey were inseparable during their junior and senior high days.

When I received the phone call from Troy that Rickey had died I was stunned. An enormous wave of emotion hit me, sadness being the most dominant.  Why? How? When? All of the normal questions one asks at a time like this.  Troy immediately flew to Denver to begin to make arrangements for the service and to attend to Rickey’s affairs.  He wasn’t married, divorced, and his birth family was challenged in many ways.  So much of what needed to be done was going to be done by my brother and his friends.

Rickey had no church, no funeral plans, no will and little money with which to take care of his affairs.  When my brother Troy asked the fire department for help they responded with incredible kindness and selflessness.  They helped find a church that would seat over 500 for the funeral.  They helped find a mortuary that helped fireman.  When my brother asked them to help clean Rickey’s house they showed up before anyone else and had the house completely cleaned before anyone else could get there.

The funeral service itself was amazing.  400 firefighters standing two deep around the church, not to mention the 150 or so that were seated.  The fire chief of Denver spoke about Rickey as if he were one of his own, because in his mind, he was.  He choked on his words as he described Rickey and when he rang the bell four times to signal that all are safe and accounted for (a Denver Fire tradition), a final farewell to Rickey, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

Afterward we went to a bar that was and is frequented by firefighters.  I watched hundreds of  firefighters gather and honor Rickey in their own way.  One of the white-shirted firemen stood atop the bar and toasted Rickey, it was a simple gesture so full of meaning. I thought I was in a movie, but all was real, mostly the camaraderie shared by these brave men.

What if the church looked like this? Ready to help in a moments notice, asking and doing with not a concern about how it may inconvenience them.  These men and women cried real tears and did whatever they could to honor the man they worked with, slept with, ate with and faced possible death with on a daily basis.

How I long for real community in my life with others, especially those in the church.  I have seen it in the flesh and know it is possible, but only if we are real and selfless, I wonder if the church has it in her?  What do you think?  To the men and women of the Denver Fire Department, THANK YOU, you are my heroes.

This was an email I sent to my colleagues at school, I thought it was appropriate to post.

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This time of year is always one when we stop to give thanks, and truth be told, I am usually most happy about the time we have off and give thanks for the time to refresh and recharge.  While that is important, this year I have been reminded in a very painful way that life is fleeting and much too short.  We have much to be thankful for, wherever and whomever we are.

The economy is bad, job losses are coming at SJ, things in Washington are tenuous and of course we have to write those darn content and language objectives (ha, ha).  But in the midst of all this, we truly have much to be thankful for.  A beautiful school in which to teach, colleagues that are professional, caring, enthusiastic and dedicated to their task to teach and impact young lives. Administration that allows us to teach the kids the way we deem most effective and more importantly affective.  And of course we have students who daily drive us to distraction, frustration, anger, fear, worry, joy, laughter, amazement, and complete surprise at some of the things the say and do, they are always, if nothing else, a source of endless energy.

Almost all of us are blessed with family as well, and they probably evoke the same sort of feelings in us as our students do, but it is in family and friends where we find our most satisfying place in this world.  I was reminded of that on Monday as I lost my beautiful brother.  I wish I would have been in closer contact with him, wish I would have called him one last time, wished . . . you fill in the blank, chances are good you have felt the same way about someone close to you.

On Friday I am going to head North to Denver, Colorado and bury a man that died much too early for me.  We will say nice things about him, praise him, mourn his loss, grieve deeply, cry, ask God why and I hope we will laugh as we remember our times together.  My only wish was that I would have done this last year, or the year before when he was still able to hear my voice and see the love in my eyes.  But I didn’t, I am thankful for the time I had, but how I wish I would have been more thankful while he was with us.

Don’t miss an opportunity to love those God has placed in your lives this Thanksgiving; eat well this thanksgiving, but soak up the love of each other! That is what we have to be truly thankful for! And if you don’t have someone, find someone who needs you, there so many out there who would love to be “adopted” just like Rick was.

Missy and I want to say thanks so much for all of the kind comments in the hallway, emails and of course your prayers, it has meant so much.  There has been a memorial site set up for Rick, www.rickcourchene.com check it out if you have time, thanks again and on behalf of the Freese family, have a Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving.

If you haven’t had a chance watch the video post I made yesterday, September 26, check it out.  It talks about my frustrations and hopes for the next 90 days. I had originally planned on a 30 plan of success, but as I thought about it I realized that for change that may be life altering would require a little more than 30 days.

In addition, in 90 days you can totally change your body, your finances, your spiritual life and even create a business that will change not only your life, but the lives of others.

So here goes, 90 days for a new me, and maybe you if you follow along. Here are the steps I am undertaking:

• Identify Areas of Need
• Access those Areas
• Make a Plan
• Monitor Plan
• Persevere

If you are interested in the details of my plan click here.  Check back each day for a new post with a new idea, news or a link to an event or two.  90 days from now, around Christmas, I hope to look differently, feel differently, think differently and have a new outlook on my role in the world.  90 days of new habit, thoughts and ideas, join me on the journey.